Bisexual actress Gillian Anderson’s new book ‘Want’ is a collection of anonymous confessions from women seeking an outlet to share their deepest desires. The book, inspired by ‘My Secret Garden: Women’s Sexual Fantasies’ by Nancy Friday, features many Queer stories of longing. Choosing just five confessions to share was a challenge.
“I’m still a human being with thoughts, feelings and desires. Desires that include an older woman who sees my disabilities as a part of me and not the whole of me. One who challenges me intellectually, spiritually, physically, even. One who isn’t afraid to show me her vulnerability, but also who will take charge… while still considering my physical and neurological disabilities and needs.”
ANON CONFESSION OF A DISABLED LESBIAN WOMAN
“Part of me is stuck in a closet, unable to relate to my Queer friends or seek solace in the Asexual/aromantic community. Navigating Queer love and sex feels unimaginably isolating when every time I find a woman attractive, I fear that it will come across as predatory, and any time I find a man attractive, I question my own feelings, wondering if they are true or if it’s the patriarchal conditioning of society.”
ANON CONFESSION OF A BISEXUAL WOMAN
“I’ve wanted to smell her skin for so long. To nuzzle into her hair, her neck. To breathe her in and kiss her… ‘You smell lovely,’ I tell her before boldly kissing her on the cheek. We’re so close now and I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. I want her face ingrained in my mind forever and I’m worried I’ll forget what she looks like. Will I be humiliated if I kiss her?”
ANON CONFESSION OF A LESBIAN WOMAN WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH HER THERAPIST
“To have my husband say he’s hired a cleaner. To have my husband say he’s done the grocery shopping. To have my husband say let’s go to the movies. To have my husband say I changed the bed sheets and did the laundry and folded the laundry. To have my husband say your face is beautiful and not mention my forming jowls at thirty-eight years old. To have my husband say the dogs are not destroying anything.”
ANON CONFESSION OF A BISEXUAL WOMAN
“I don’t understand why I can’t find a woman who would like to be with me. I don’t think I have ever been loved by a woman, or by any romantic interest, as a matter of fact. It hurts. Sometimes my heart aches because of that silent rejection. Somehow, I feel lonely thinking about the fact that I can’t find a female match on Tinder or Bumble, or in real life. It used to be easy on apps, for me. But now, it doesn’t work.”
ANON CONFESSION OF A BISEXUAL WOMAN
‘Want’ is on sale now via Bloomsbury.
